Shine On

Earlier today mom tagged me in an article about Pink Floyd, which included a more in-depth perspective of how Syd Barrett’s “cheese slid off the cracker” when the band got famous. When was the last time I felt a spiritual movement while listening to Shine On You Crazy Diamond? I lashed out for the Bluetooth headphones immediately, and started the orchestral hum of the beginning of the five part piece.

I’ve had a connection with that piece since I put myself in Barrett’s place through my own mental illnesses and struggles with them. Although I did not partake in massive amounts of acid consumption, I did suffer side effects of too much psyche medication, a mistake I made while I had already lost my topper.

When Dave Gilmour struck those first four notes with precise thumb and pose, I felt chills spike down my spinal chord through the nerves in my crown.
And as the guitar crooned melodic condolences so sweet, I could feel my innocent ears rock back and forth, like laying empathized in baby’s comfiest crib.

Gilmour went on to start reciting lyrics, reading aloud my diary word for word, August 15, 2014. “Come on you raver, you seer of visions-
Come on you painter, you piper, you prisoner, and shine!”
Just like Brian Beck yelled to me off key over the phone while I was in the mental hospital.

I thought about all those times my mental illnesses got in the way of functioning properly in society. When I was hallucinating, manic as hell while serving triple figure business people wines and hors d’oeuvres I couldn’t pronounce.

I thought about what it looked like under the surface, when I lost my conscious state of mind and dove underwater.

I thought about my current struggles. The struggles of the Syd Barrett’s around me.

Gilmour barked a loud SHIIIIIINE! Before the sax solo, so I set the question out there- how does this sick basket case like myself shine tonight?

I heard it loud and clear as any intuitive sixth sense would ring in the ear of a somewhat manic psychic soul would: “Quit Fucking around and paint something” a friendly reminder from Brian’s essence.

So this is what I came up with. Do I feel better? I still feel like laughing and crying at the same time

Bipolar Beast, 2020

Published by Stephanie Staup

Healer and lover first. Human second.

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